Building a loving, responsive relationship.
Responsive parenting series part 1 This post is the first of a three part series on responsive parenting. Responsive parenting, in a nutshell, means parenting that is responsive to the signals or cues of your child. It is warm, caring and on cue. Responsiveness is often understood within an attachment theory framework (responsive parenting predicts […]
Shame is that sinking feeling, which may be accompanied by sadness, fear, anger or disgust, along with a sense of your own unworthiness and lack of worth in the eyes of others. Shame is often accompanied by a tendency to behave in a submissive way, that is, a shamed person is likely to try to […]
It is now well-accepted that cue-based care, responding to a baby’s cues for feeds, physical contact, play or sleep, is the best form of care for babies, particularly for newborns. However, this has turned into lists of baby’s cues, instruction guides on how to decipher their bizarre and yet supposedly universal signals. Many of these […]
We have a cultural obsession with the bliss of bonding that I think can be very unhelpful. We set new parents up to expect that their first months with their newborn baby will be euphoric. But not only that, we prime them to believe that the moments of rapture are the vital, essential moments in […]
Therapists (psychologists, counsellors, social workers) talk about falling into the trap of seeing a client as a problem to be solved. It is really very easy to fall into this trap and many therapists fall into it for all the right reasons and with all the best intentions. But it definitely is a trap. When […]
Here’s a little game that I like to play with myself. During those tough parenting moments — the 2am strolls up and down our hallway, the entirely inconvenient and loud tantrums, the discovery of a glorious mess – I reach deep into my own heart and I find the love I feel for my daughter. Now […]
One of my pet peeves is this particular phrase “she’s only doing it for comfort…” It is a phrase you hear frequently and often with a dismissing air, the subtext being that as it is only for comfort she should hurry up and stop doing it. Oh, how this phrase frustrates me! It frustrates me […]
One of the things that I love about being a parent is watching my child’s development unfold, moment by moment and day by day. It is an incredible thing. The awe that I feel watching her developmental dance, in turn, inspires my parenting. Think about your child when you first met them, as a newborn. […]