And she will learn it… eventually…

Here’s another phrase that drives me up the wall, especially when it comes out of the mouth of a fellow health professional, “Well, she has to learn to do it eventually”.  This phrase, and the attitude behind it, frustrates me so much because I feel that it drives many parents to expend much valuable time and energy trying to get their children to learn new skills at the earliest possible age.  The sad part is that often if parents had simply given their children more time, waiting until their children are truly developmentally ready, (and also, often, waiting until they are ready…) then parenting could have been so much easier.  Often, what can be achieved with months of consistent, structured and effortful parenting can also be achieved with weeks or even days of relaxed parenting in another six months… Parenting doesn’t have to be so stressful.  Think about all of the adults in your life.  Some of them toilet trained at eighteen months, some at two years, some not until they were three.  Can you even tell the difference?  Does any of that actually matter now?  So to the “She has to learn to do it eventually” crowd I say this:

Yes, she does and you know what?  You are absolutely spot on about the timeframe — eventually…

Apply it to your life: Do you feel pressured to teach your child skills at the earliest possible age? Can you take the pressure off yourself and wait until your child is developmentally ready instead?